hello.
this is yours truly. and this page is still on a hiatus. i'm only here to tell those of you who expressed their concerns through emails that i'm fine! i'm still here! i haven't gone anywhere! :) so not to worry. yes there have been moments when i thought i would wither and die because i can't blog anymore, but various people have been there for me. assuring me that life goes on.

:P

so don't worry... i'm well. trying to enjoy the remaining of this season as best i can. hopefully if "something" happens this week *fingers crossed. doggy eyes to the sky*, i'll be able to take off to a beach with my sister and have a bonding time before she leaves for college. that will definitely give me enough time to train her. i.e. no boyfriend, sharon. no boyfriend in freshman year. it's so relieving to know that she's going to an all-girl's school.

okay, way too long for a webpage that's techinically on break. so, again, au revoir, my friends! *wink*

Time to say good bye... yes, i had an ample amount of time today so i drew myself :P just kidding. this is what i did just for you guys : took a picture of myself by myself which i had never done before, played around with this software that came with my izone long time ago, and voila... a drawing of me! :) anyways, all this hard work was done to say "au revoir." knowing me, this hiatus won't last too long. i'll give it about ... a few weeks? i dunno. we'll see. but until then, take care, be safe, be good, and say hi through here, or here, or those comment boxes that a few of you love ;)

hm, this is quiet emotional than i intended! ... for me, that is.

oh and since i'll take on the role of MIB (missing in blog. get it? MIA? MIB? muahaha. sorry.) i would like to give my sincere birthday wishes to the following people: gail (7/19), josh hartnett (7/21), and paul who was born on the day after josh the last week of july.

byebye!

synopsis of tonight: a haircut (a horror story that deserves its own entry) / Starbucks with a sister... but no free promotional drink / a brilliant idea in my head -- i'll go for a drive! / a heavily backed-up road on the other side of the road / a stop at a gas station to find a detour / a meeting with a friendly stranger who tells me to follow her car / half-an-hour of adventurous driving through the woods / fear of being abducted / fear of being lost / relief of seeing a familiar neighborhood / thanks, green hyundai for letting me follow you // strangers can be awfully nice sometimes :)

*poof* where did it go?

i just threw away the old computer hard drive along with my half-eaten dunkin'donut. feels good to discard something that's been the source of much distress lately. perhaps i should do this in other areas of my life too. but then again, that will require greater audacity than i possess.

busy busy day.

wow.. i'm hearing happy news from coast to coast almost every other day now that i'm starting to feel a bit jealous here :D (and please refrain from sharing with me all the happy talk while i'm at work. i feel really dumb smiling so much in front of the computer screen ;) if you can't tell, i'm very happy for you. (now who can correctly count how many times i used the word happy in this paragraph?)

on a different note, i had a chance to watch the reunion of the mtv real world chicago cast members today and it's saddening to hear almost every member justify their actions caught on tape by saying phrases like "it's natural" or "it's completely normal for a 22 yr old single blah blah blah..." i don't know. sometimes i wish people are more aware of the cultural drift, often intentionally and meticulously handled by the media. does anyone else notice how our society now shuns smoking but willingly accepts other acts more shameful and horrendous? the concept of virtue seems to have drifted away and now we accept and uphold values, but what are values other than individual preferences that set personal standards for our actions and thoughts? *shrug*

alright, time for me to sleep. most definitely. g'night peeps.

good things #1 my new hard drive was finally delivered today. did you know that their system was down intermittenly throughout the past few days. i was about to suggest Compaq to them.#2 my floppy disk that has half of my college life was found after a day. it is quiet disturbing to think that 2 years of my life can be saved onto just a floppy disk. #3 answered prayers (positive answers ;) and lastly #4 not a dab of cloud in the sky. blue blue blue...

i except for the minor little irritation on my mind, i'm feeling dandy enough to be a brady bunch.

if you saw a red car pulled over in the rain by a state police office (in disguise, i must say!) on Rt.100, yup, that was me. hope you said hello as you were driving by.

my first speeding ticket. it was a painful experience. right now, i'm having trouble breathing normally. (i do have a sensitive heart... physically speaking.)

i remember when we first moved to indonesia, surely i thought God made a mistake here... i don't belong here. i should be going to that highschool i looked forward to my whole 8th grade, where the band director already knew who i was, i should be hanging with my old friends, at the old town library, where leaves change color at least. that was one point in my life when i really rebelled. but slowly i took comfort in this verse:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." joshua 1

those 4 years in jakarta turned out to be one of the best times in my life so far.
....
i really missed you guys today. a lot.

can one have objectivity in subjectivity? i wonder.

can one tell that i should be doing something else than blog? i wonder.

last question: is this a love song or a christian praise song?
I shall serve him, live for him,
belong to him completely,
give myself to him, and find myself
transfigured by his glory...

Have you come to me,
my beloved,
does your light shine on me, my sun?
In devotion
and in humility,
let me bow before my lord.
-Frauenliebe und-leben (A woman's life and love)/ words by adalbert von chamisso

so i was listening to a cd borrowed from a very cultured friend and reading the cd jacket for translations, and there was something harder to comprehend than the lyrics written in german: this woman's emotions -- pure adoration -- to her lover. i rarely listen to love songs and i'm not a big fan of Top 40, most of which tend to about love & heartaches it seems, but words here are intense, aren't they? the best i could relate to was the worship and praise that christians give to God, singing love songs in awe of His love. but to another man? hm... i don't know. is this something that all lovers share, at least at one point, in their life together?

Now you have hurt me for the very first time,
and hurt me deeply.
You are sleeping, you cold-hearted, merciless man,
the sleep of death.

but then again, since i'm pretty certain that i'll marry a christian man, i wouldn't really be hurt if he takes that last breath on earth. i would kinda miss him ... probably. :) okay, i think that killed all the sappiness of this entry :P back to whatever i was trying to do. ciao!

this isn't the most flattering picture of me --although there are worse ones circulating through the web -- but i wanted to post it to prove that i do tan. if you squint, you can see my tan lines around the shoulders. so there. case closed. (this pic was shamelessly stolen from a guy who also goes by the nickname, yogi. hope you don't mind me stealing!)

btw, it was nice meeting up with you, friend. we'll do this more often in order to enlighten each other further with our own expertise ;) i can definitely see our friendship surviving through many more years.

i do love my mom dearly. but when she, the mommy, stresses out, the whole house fun freezes.

last time i saw her, she was in the basement throwing out my old super ninento and our non-functional Macintosh...
i feel like i should walk on tippy toes. i hope she doesn't throw me out.

friday five:
1. Where are you right now?
at the computer, feeling very much full. (today's consumption : two white nectarines, special-K cereal, chicken soup with rice, spicy noodles, matcha melon bubble tea, vietnamese wraps with avocado and chicken, lots of watermelon... *burp* excuse me.)

2. What have you lost recently?
my bible. actually two bibles... i know :T but one is on its way from chicago. (thanks, jane)

3. What was the first CD you ever purchased? Does that embarrass you now?
who can remember that? i have nooo clue.

4. What is your favorite kind of writing pen?
i used to love my parker fountain pen that i took notes with. it kept me company through senioritis and freshmen year at carleton. one time i lost it on campus somewhere, a fellow freshman found it and posted a classified in our school newsletter. i remember thinking how nice that was -- and how cute he was -- and asked my roommate, "should i leave flowers in his mailbox as a thank-you gift?" hehe. jess and mara should know who i'm talking about. his name rhymes with snarl and he was blonde and played football and had both ears pierced. and he even came to my farewell party with his football posse when i transferred out. ah, i was so young. :P then i lost the pen forever. next came the waterman ballpen.. but i lost that one too. now i use anything that has ink in it.

5. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Haagen-Daaz's Mango and Baskin Robin's Cherry Jubilee! feelin' fruity these days...

hello there,

i don't think i wrote about how much i love being at home. i really missed it these past few weeks! and i'm glad that i took today off and didn't plan anything with anyone other than my mom... who makes me the best iced coffee. :D sleeping until my eyes couldn't possibly stay closed for another minute, eating, lounging around, eating, and taking another nap. driving around window shopping and running erands with mom, and eating the fifth meal of the day is what i call a day off. and in the midst of it all, i had an epiphany : my family grounds me. (i call a lot of things epiphanies because i like the sound of it :P )

my july 4th: eating crabs until my hands were completely covered with Old-bay seasoning, catching the breeze while go-carting, watching fireworks from a bridge in a cute little town in maryland, and ending the day with a cup of mango gelati from Rita's Ice. satisfied.

have you ever had that instantaneous connection with people? people whose lame corny jokes make you laugh heartily - and only you out of a whole group, whose 3 sentence emails tell you a whole world about their day, whose idiosyncrasies just seem so intriguing.... and i'm not talking about having a crush on someone. but an untangible connection.

have you?
i have. and it's pretty neat having them in my life.

i feel like i'm having some sort of a heart-ache, but can't quite put my fingers on as to why. why why why? anyways, just feels like my heart has been bruised for no reason. maybe not as serious as a bruise but maybe a .... scatch? (or is this a stomach ache that i'm very insensitive to? maybe it's that onion soup.) *sigh* who knows.

sometimes it's really hard being a girl. all those overwhelming emotions that don't make any sense to you.

....
maybe it's my skirt that's to blame. wearing skirts bring out the girliness in me. oh, i'll blame this on everything else but myself.

i can't talk too much because of the french onion soup i just had left me with an awful breath. and it didn't even have cheese! :T

hello.

blogging is the best when i don't want to be sappy or cheasy in real life ;) what our candidate pastor said this morning seemed very appropriate for today: that relationships are the only things one can take to the eternal life in heaven. thinking upon that, relationship in which we pray together, worship and praise together and grow together in Christ is worth eternity, don't you think? so basically, all of you are stuck with me forever! muahahah :P

Do share with me all the stories -- the unexpected and the miraculous ones -- that God will do in your lives by your xangas & blogger posts, or even better, by charming emails and phonecalls. thanks for letting me serve you, however lacking i have been. and thanks for letting me serve Him through you.

I think I've gotten more out of this relationship than you have - from "I Am Sam"