my closet has twice as much space as it had yesterday. and even my room feels a little different, without its desk lamp, the printer, a few small things from drawers, mr. pooh and the faint noise of korean pop songs from my sister's room next door. it sure feels incomplete.

i wasn't able to join my family for their trip to the north, as my sister's one-too-many bags and luggage took over my territory in the car. so the plan changes at the last minute, from helping her move in to staying home and cleaning up the mess behind, and from a 3-day trip down to just two. ah, must get some rest for a productive day all alone.

hey you, just remember two things for both of us. one: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (joshua 1) and two: don't forget to talk to mr. pooh from time to time as he has a tendency to get lonely. actually the idea of having a sister in college is pretty exciting. does this mean we can drink coffee together next time we see each other? note - mocha frappuchino doesn not count ;)


i miss you already :(

addendum
Happy Birthday, Sunny! ;)
* * *

mmm. cookies ...
i love classes that feed the students so well.

wouldn't it be nice to have a college like that? with a policy to serve refreshments to starving students. maybe i should build a college. man... the list of things to do is ever growing.. :P

so i sat here wondering why i'm the only one munching on danish and sipping coffee, complimentary efreshments in the other room. but as we were about to take a 5-min break, i see the sign that reads : NO FOOD or DRINKS.

oops.

but even the instructor has his coffee cup in here. i see no problem with my danish. (btw, remember those chocolate danish i love from my Access class long time ago? they now have raspberry walnut cakes instead. i'm not complaining.)

i'm in class. don't know why i keep taking these software classes. no one really tells me to. i tell them that i need it for work. (but i think my personal check balance i do with excel will benefit the most ;)

more to come later. there're only five students here and i'm getting ample amount of attn from the instructor. i.e. harder to type in blogger and look like i'm a good student.

this made me laugh:
"Scientists spent four months tracking by satellite the journey of a goose named Kerry that migrated 3,000 miles from Northern Ireland to the Canadian Arctic. They finally found it last week — in an Inuit hunter’s freezer."

yeah, very unsympathetic of me...but isn't it funny? :)

i can't stay up any longer. so here's a little early note to two lovely ladies :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOMMY & JULIE ! *muah*

if it were for these girls, my life could have turned out to be more complicated and chaotic ;) i'm so thankful to have you two in my life... and how coincidental it is that you have the same birthday!

* * *
have you ever read your own emails that make you raise your eyebrow? (another question: are you gifted enough to raise one eyebrow like me? *smile*) i do often. i read those sentences attached to people's replies and wonder how they were conjured in my head. people probably think that i'm either a scrunched up ball of caffeine, a really ditzy blonde who died her hair dark, or a brutally insensitive person who reeks i-think-i'm-cooler-than-thou-hence-you-shall-listen tone. i need to produce writing that exudes my true identity: a grace-induced-(moderate)hypermanic-(self-diagnosed)closet-introvert who is cooler than thou.

heh. sounds contradicting to my desire over on the sidebar, yah?

have a good weekend everyone!

i had to write a few emails regarding my 08/20 post during my lunch break today so i thought i would copy/paste one of them. 'cuz you know what they say, sharing is caring :D

"yeah, i learned a lot more about forgiveness this week :) here's my take on the difference between forgetting and forgiving. often times, many people put the hurt and pain behind and let it get buried within, especially in the midst of all the busy lives we all have everyday. it can appear to be the healing process since over time we tend to forget -- even to a point where there's no apparent awkwardness or tension with the person(s) who wronged you before. but the difference between forgetting the hurt and forgiving is clear when the same person wrongs you again, when the forgotten pain and blurred memory is refreshed. this time around, most likely we would say, "strike two! man, i knew this would come again. i shouldn't have forgiven her the first time" this isn't true forgiveness...

"if we forgive as God forgave us, we shouldn't hold previous "wrongs" against people. just as our sin will never be counted against us if we, christians, truly repent. "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." (Isaiah 43:25) i guess this makes it possible for us to forgive the same person seventy-seven times! "

guess what?


iT's FriDAy!~~@ yiPpy!!
(dOes tHis aNNoy YoU? it sURe anNoys mE! props to those teenage asian girls.. you need special skillZ to type like dis! ;)

btw, i was informed by a private investigator that my skirt was last found in baja, mexico, married to a brown, straight-front and wide-legged trouser. for now, i will no longer be concerned about her life because it's her business. but should she decide to return, i will welcome whole-heartedly like the father of the prodigal son. ( and it wouldn't hurt to have another pair of trousers. right? )

there are dozens of you and yet none of you can tell me where my denim skirt is.
man... what good are you guys? i need to take some time and re-evaluate our relationship :T

*yawn*
good night.

they always say to know before you love..in this case, things..

so i'm heading out. somewhat torn inside because i'm suppose to go to this dinner to meet someone i don't want to see. seems hypocritical for me to be there and smile with the crowd. a few months ago, i would have told myself, oh stop being silly. forgive and forget. but recently i heard Sproule's sermon on forgiveness and how nowhere does the bible say to forgive unconditionally. unless the one who wronged you or hurt you requests your forgiveness. then we should do so without a grudge. because we ourselves are forgiven in His mercy and our sins forgotten as we repent.

this person hasn't said sorry.... yet. i highly doubt that he will.

it has come to my attention that i most definitely need a pda or palm or whatever people call the hand-held gadget. it will simplify my life exponentially. so what's better? a palm or a handspring visor? i think these are the choices that i can afford, as med schools are taking my money like robbers. (okay, that was mean :P sorry med schools. i love you. please let me in! ) any suggestions or recommendations are welcome.

addendum: it must synchronize well with Outlook. i cannot live without Outlook.

i am so hungry.
so very hungry. (repeat this five in monotone and you'll turn into me.)

meetings are great when I want the day to go by fast. super-fast.
but by the fourth one of the day, all i could think about was my half-eaten ham&cheese sandwich. you can imagine how many "i'm sorry, can you repeat that?" i said during that 2-hour meeting. oops.

currently munching on left-over m&m's from the drawer.

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture that He's painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God.

so obvious and simple. yet i often remind myself of this plain fact.
especially at times like today when i'm bothered by the thought that i haven't found my niche in certain parts of my life. i'm so impatient; i just want to know everything before i live it :P

Can I form a single mountain
take the starts in hand and count them?
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me?
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass.
-Steven Curtis Chapman

Good thing He and I are in good terms (by grace). otherwise, i would have had a break-down today!;)

what do you do when a spider slowly inches towards your steering wheel when you are driving in a rush-hour traffic? when you are in the middle of singing "Jesus you are the rock of my salvation" in joy, partly because the weekend is finally here...

you voice goes flat(ter) and your praise quickly turns to a desperate prayer for mercy.

thankfully, (Someone must have not liked my off-pitch voice that much.) I got stopped by a red light and that 8-legged thing had moved closer to the window. So in my last bit of alertness, I swept the thing out of my car with a piece of paper next to me. it turned out to be my speeding ticket from weeks ago:P

it's friday friday friday friday friday! (Mark's version of Friday Five. have you guys checked out the cabana lately? you should. it's a nifty site. )

***
more importantly, i would like to use this little space to wish a few people all the luck and prayer i can give.
joann, namee, paul, scott, julie c, and roger : be strong! y'all be fine. kill the test tomorrow !!!!!

answers :

i like coffee because of its aroma and that bitter-creamy taste of it. no sugar please. and plus, sometimes it wakes me up, although not at those crucial nights before exams.// i'm a girl. // best compliment: when someone said i was charming. i was very flattered because she was someone i respect a lot. worst criticism: when someone was i was disloyal. it was very hurtful. especially because it stemmed from a big misunderstanding. // sharon, my white tank top is in my closet. i don't know where yours is. *shrug* // when i need to think about something important and i'm at work, i quietly retreat to one of the courtyards near my building with some paper and manila folders so i look like i'm doing something work related ;) but usually, if something important needs to be thought out, i'm in my room. doors locked. at my desk. if necessary, on my knees. // if i come across someone online who sparks an interest, hm. i would do what people do in the real world. if that person's not interested in me (which is most likely the case since i would be the unknown reader), just move on.

i think soo had the best question!
okay, time to wave good-bye to yaccs for now.

 = this is me when i lose stuff. like $40 at the supermarket self-check out counter.

 = this is me when i see yummy food coming towards me. people say my eyes twinkle.

 = this was me in middle school. plus permed hair. i was lovely.

 = this was me when the premed office lost (but now found) four of my recommendations. my tears scared the lady who was in the elevator with me.

 = this is my secret friend who recently got a role in the hollywood blockbuster, Signs. he looks a lot meaner in the movie.

 = this is me when i'm caught doing silly stuff ... like checking out teen People for a picture of josh harnett.

 = this is me when i'm lost while driving. mostly in a town called Columbia, MD.

 = this is me saying no to drugs. or what i told my sister to do to boys.

 = this is me. say hello to coolgirl.

and lastly,  = this is me laughing at myself. muahahah

this is what happens when i'm sick and can't sleep. i love yahoo emoticons, don't you?

i watched Meet Joe Black for the first time yesterday. i had a few good laughs at Brad Pitt's dry humour.

today driving home, i thought to myself, i wanted to fall in love. it must have been that line the wonderful Anthony Hopkins said to his supposed daughter whose name i can't recall, like the line itself. but he said something like i want you to be head over heels for someone like i did with your mom. loving someone without an ounce of hesitation or reservation. i've never been head over heels for anyone. but i'm hoping that i do one day ... within the next decade. although there's that one Love that i must rekindle asap. it's on my to-do list.

yeah yeah, i see y'all rolling your eyes. but i'm being serious! *smile*

anyways, just a tidbit of my mind for today. whoa, that was pretty personal. perhaps it's another time for a hiatus. puahaha... ;)

[there was a story here about how i used a nail polish remover instead of my toner to wipe my face one night. how i ran like maccauley culkins to the bathroom and used every soap on the sink to "remove" the traces of acetone, neglecting all i had learned in my chemistry class. but i deleted because it was too wordy and long. but you get the gist of it and that's all it matters :P]

For a long time I wanted 3 or 4 kids of my own. this might have been until this morning. i'm reconsidering this plan. (and this would mean that i would have to rethink about my kids' first and middle names too.. oh shucks.) but john here is such a cutie-patootie. and one smart boy.. he memorized all three memory verses overnight!

and esther, the little girl in the picture below. she's going to be a heartbreaker when she grows up. it would be nice to have a girl like her too.



to be frank, i underestimated these kids big time. i wasn't sure if they would understand the gospel. understand God's love. God's forgiveness. but they did and they accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior. this humbled all the leaders' hearts.

is it friday already? one more day to go... :D

*ahem* alright, kids, today we are going to learn about David and Goliath. David trusted in God's power and He knew God would help him. David knew that God helps us!
[this is where you raise your arms and say "Awesome!" :)]

i'll be in the safari today (amazing decorations, if i may add). do pray for my safety.

....
this is kinda amusing: read the last comment from aug. 2nd. help me get a free bubble tea!

guess what i'm craving right now.

Ichiban ramen with kimchi that's super hot and little bit on the sour side. mm mm mm...

such a nice weather today. summer humidity must have left us for good. (i hope.)

[a midday trance. or should i say midday food coma?]
if i can have a theme for every season every year, i would call this summer "surrender." i've been running into that word at every corner of my life lately and finally i'm getting the gist of it. some things just take a little longer than others to learn! ;). because i'm an applicant and not the dean, because i'm a girl and not a boy, because i'm an employee and not the employer, and more than anything, because i'm His creation and not the Creator himself. so with a few things i'll must say to myself, "whatever happens happens." i know this phrase may be detrimental if taken with wrong motives, but as long as my focus is right, i know i'm fine. because i'm in good hands.

so somethings, if not all, are beyond my control. all i have to do is wait. wait in joy and anticipation. oh boy...

i just spent the last four and half hours pasting paper ants to foam boards and cutting out grass from green table cloth. *whew* my neck is killing me!

anyways, to someone who caught me at a really bad time today : truly sorry that i had to share my "devastastion/grief" with you. i know i took you by surprise. looking back, even i laugh at myself. ;)

nighty nite!

i went out on a date today.
and he was such a gentleman. always lady's first. even pulling down the seat for me at the theatre when i came back from the restroom. and gave me undivided attention to every word i said, even the stupid ones. and i know it wasn't pretense ;)

so who is this charmer, you ask? he often goes by the name "dad" in my life :P and he sure raises up the bar for future suitors in my life.


***
it's been so long since i went to see movies with my dad. he mentioned how i'm all grown up now, how the last time we had a father-daughter outing together was back in the days when he used to drive instead of me. i assured him that it wasn't too long ago *smile*

btw, i'm so disappointed in the green aliens. c'mon, couldn't people be a little more creative?

personal note to a dear friend because i couldn't say it in person:
b, i never knew friendship could bring people this close. you were my answered prayer. :) i guess i can go on with endless thanks for all you've done for me, for who you are to me, but in a nutshell, i'll just say that it is my privilege to have you as a friend/sister. have a safe ride to ny! (you know this summer could have become disasterous without you! ;)

go, shine like the stars
knowing that our hearts can never really be apart
fly as high as you can
because it won't be long until i see you again.
quoting a song from your CD;)

(hm, the song's kinda sappy huh? but i like it!)

***
second personal note:
v, we gotta stick together! good talking with you. *ahem* finally!

resume comes before revamp in this case.

my new playground : Borders coffee shop with bubble tea from columbia mall (2nd floor near jcpenny's.) i highly recommend honeydew melon or coconut! perhaps i'll get a discount after this post ;)

thoroughly enjoyed: lunch outing during work, girly chit-chats over dinner, 1400 jammin' (you guys are so talented...), a new mix cd that has veggie tale songs! how cool is that? really.

more to come tomorrow. 'tis way past my bedtime. i'm going to be quite emotional tomorrow. i just know it.