outside the window above my desk:
heavy snow falling a beautifully blossomed dogwood tree.

tell me what's wrong with this picture.

belated friday five

1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week?
it's all a blur! hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. walking in the rain to have seafood buffet for lunch with coworkers.

2. What one person touched your life this week?
a college student who opened up to me unexpectedly about her current situation.

3. How have you helped someone this week?
the same person who wanted some advice on her new relationship with her boyfriend. (i know, i may not be really qualified. but she said it helped. *shrug*)

4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week?
uh. (retroactively planning) taxes, fix computer, clean my room.

5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place?
of the three mentioned above, i would have to choose the last one. it will most definitely make my world a better place ;)

* * *
i know i wrote this once but i like to play with the straw out of a soda bottle. it's like a game: it pokes its head out and i push it back in. it pokes its head out again and i push it in again. i guess it's a worker's version of those bounce back toys for kids

where will this week lead me to? i wonder.

i think the role of exterior beauty to a relationship is like the role of affirmative action policy in schools and organizations. it gets the person to the door. beyond that, the person needs to have the inner quality for survival. although it's easier to forgive and ignore the flaws of a "beautiful" person than someone who's just ordinary, even this becomes too taxing after awhile. just something i observed.

i make strange analogies, i admit. (did i even share my thoughts on haircuts and boyfriends?) but they make clear sense to me. how about to you?

continuing on this theme of "relationships," seriously, if you guys can for a moment visualize my guitar as a person and as my boyfriend, i think he would have broken up the relationship by now and fled to somewhere far away crying, "lady! leave me alone!"

this morning i was -><- close to not coming to work. how close? very. after pondering about the pros and cons of playing hookie while sitting on the floor in my pj's and robe, i dialed the phone and quickly hung up on my boss' secretary as soon as he said hello. i couldn't bear to say that i'm sick. because i'm perfectly healthy.

anyways, i'm happy to be at work because all these people on their spring break decided to visit me in the city. having lunch at a driving distance away from work in an exceptionally nice weather is as good as skipping the whole day and chilling at home :P

since tuesday every day seems like a friday. i hope i'm not in a reversal mode. to have friday feel like a monday would be just too cruel. happy friday thursday!

beautiful day. extremely happy. too happy to write in full sentences.

more to come later. ta ta!

i sometimes blurt out "okie dokie santoki" and this seems to be an amusement to some people. why? i'm not the only one who uses this phrase. :T

(fyi: santoki = "wild rabbit" in korean. there's no meaningful association between okie dokie and wild rabbits. it just rhymes with "dokie")

monday monday monday... oh poohy. why can't it always be weekends?

guitar for me right now is like what website making was for me two years ago. i'm so hooked. yesterday, after i got home, i munched on something for dinner and played guitar for 6 hours. isn't that crazy? i think it's crazy. it felt like every bone in my body was crying for mercy by midnight.

highlights of Sunday: college group meeting. and this highschool kid who carries that i'm-cooler-than-you attitude gave me a high five. ah, the feeling of acceptance ;)
highlights of Saturday: seafood.
highlights of Friday: seeing my old Hope family after j's recital. i'll expound on this more later. . .. maybe.

okay i'm awake now. happy monday peeps!

so i forwarded to a few people an article that Carter wrote in his opposition to war. didn't mean to be political or anything and it was before the ultimatum.

and i got this long email from one of the recepients. i guess he took it personally when it really wasn't suppose to. he told me to read the bible. now i took THAT personally and wrote hime a nice long NICE email. this was on my mind. :) (i'm just playing)

we're all frustrated, saddened, and upset what little we know. and when it comes to future, we really don't know anything.

i got the dates confused and now i find myself in a mess! *banging my head against the desk* bang bang bang...

so tomorrow night is my friend's recital. it's been in my planner eversince the date was rescheduled. tomorrow night is also an outing with my coworkers. albeit it's just an "outing," this is something that had been in plan for a long long time and i can't back out now. let's move on to saturday. that would be the last night macaroni is in town so my parents want to have dinner together with both of us in one table at a nice place. i thought it was a good idea, forgetting that it's the joint youthgroup service where i have to be at church at dinner time. and it just hit me that gospe1 j@m is on that night! bang bang bang...

and it leaves me no time to spend time with my hunny! ;) okay i'll stop. back to drinking more dr.pepper. it will calm me down i hope.

remind me later to change the color scheme of this page.

it's been so hard to work lately. my mind would drift when i should be concentrating on work. it's the pretty reasonable weather (compared to what we've had this winter) and the guitar that's "borderline-completely" consumed all my free time at home. no time to play. no time to fix my computer. i even forget to eat and postpone my bedtime. now you know the seriousness of the situation.

what's funnier is that i can't really play much! with the few chords i know, i try to find a decent piece that has no B or F's or anything that stretches my hand beyond its limits;) and all songs at this point are in tempo leganza to accomdate my slow maneuvering of fingers.

anyways, thought i would share this for no reason ;) my new hobby. or as someone said, my new hunny ;)

* * *
i look at my friends, most of them in their early or mid twenties. we're all in different stages, some in school, some unemployed, some working and moving up the ladder in the corporate world fast, some kinda clueless as to what to do next. what binds us together though, is that, beneath the surface of "what i do now," we're all still finding our niche. is this what characterizes this period in life? not knowing where we'll be in a few years, or not knowing what we want to do in five years? it's kinda charming in its own way though.

alrighty, time to head out. my sister is in town and both of us have been too busy to do anything together until tonight.

interesting...

i'll write something later.

so now i can play G, G7, A, Am, Am7, C ( but my version of it), E, Em, D, D7, shoot...what's F........ B but um, my B doesn't sound like a B chord :P

oh and my fingers are bluish black. very attractive.

hm, what else from this weekend... oh, i found a diet "code red" mt.dew at a bowling alley. according to a friend, this is very rare. (sorry for the lack of substance in this post!)

isn't my big baby beautiful? :D

(and my fingers are sooo sore)

a quick blog before my meeting:

*newsflash from my world*
one. i got a drastic hair cut on a whim. people like it, but i don't know what to do with it :P one person calls it an urban chic haircut. someone else calls it a rocker's haircut -- yeah, imagine that! i think my friend described it perfectly, it's a very "un-me" haircut.

two. i have a boyfriend. his name is taylor. (first off, love his name) he's beautiful. he sounds even better. i was smitten at the first sight -- is this what love is? because i can't wait to spent more time with him later tonight. his alias is 'big baby.'

-----
;)

Monday, why art thou so cruel to me?

* * *
-'s from the weekend: i ended up with a parking ticket AND a speeding ticket. *sigh*
+'s fro the weekend: lots of food. lots of fun with friends i like all weekend :)

so i think i'm getting this taka-something guitar at a very good price, according to a friend. on one hand, i think i'm investing my money in the right place. i mean, if i take it seriously, i will have a life-time back-up career. on the other hand, i might be just wasting my money on a temporary hobby craving.

i'm also thinking of giving up blogging for lent. haven't made up my mind yet. the weather here has been as fickle as my mind lately.

so why haven't i been posting?
for one thing, my computer at home crashed. it just died one morning and i couldn't bring it to life since. i'm still in the process of "fixing" it with a boot disk and such, but it will take sometime as my patience in front of a dead screen is very limited. does anyone want to shed some light on how to start up a computer that's heavily "mislinked"?

these are some of the commands i tried on my little baby:
c:\win
c:\windows
c:\win98 (yeah yah yah, i need to update)
a:\startup (i made this one up)
a:\startup.exe (")
a:\AAAHHHHHHHH (this one actually took awhile to process and finally gave me a response - "bad link or command")
a:\YOUSTINK!!!!! (")

want to help? send me a telepathic message as emails will not help.
* * *
funny thing i noticed: when i'm completely worn out -- as in on-the-verge-of-just-falling-on-the-floor-and-sleeping kinda state, strangers compliment me, using these very flattering adjectives that i normally wouldn't hear. so i'm thinking that the dark circles under the eyes, and glistening sweat on my forehead from walking around so much work as attractants to people. do you know how much i'll be saving from never purchasing eye cream or translucent powder in the future?!? yay! more money for ... a guitar! :D )

one inspiration from the weekend:

i'm gonna learn to play the guitar :)

see, there's good music and then there's great music. great music has to hit something within me to be great.

in mid january, the dave matthews band crossed over that good/great borderline, in my objective opinion;) maybe this has to do with the fact that i finally gave in and listened to their music without bias or ...prejudice. (i won't get into this.)

then more recently -- as in over the last few hours-- bruce springsteen caught my aural attention. maybe this has to do with him winning the grammys. but at least for now, he's a genius in my book of genii. he made me so happy i danced in my pj's. anyone up for his concert this summer? i promise i'll dress appropriately for that.

oh my, it's march!
blogs and journals come in handy when i want to check back on my past. like exactly last year plus one day, i had pad thai. i remember that day pretty well actually..it rained a lot and i was hesitant about driving into the city at night. and exactly two years ago, i had chicken caesar salad and soup. i remember that day pretty well too...it was cold and i was nervous about eating with someone i didn't really know. see, behold the power of food on memory! :) right now, saya lapar sekali

***
random addendum: you know that song dilemma? now i've been thinking about this for sometime but didn't want to share, for potential ridicules i might receive (since y'all are so mean ;), but don't you think it would be a cute worship song (sans rap!) for all christian girls with boyfriends? just change 'baby' to Jesus and you got a devotional song to a catchy tune! okay, sleep is necessary at this point. g'night.