flipping the page ...

on my way out, i saw a big bright star against the setting sun.
i sure hope it was a star 'cuz my wish is on it..


i'm greeting this new year with much ambivalence. for one, i'm far from ready to close this year and for another, i'm quite reluctant to face the new year, as one of the first things that await me in 2004 is... school and the (literally) 14-inch syllabus that still sits in the trunk of my car. i must have thrown it in while heavily medicated with theraflu before i left school.

for me, today started only a few hours ago with the book i fell asleep reading last night, and a bowl full of grapes and cheddar cheese. (after learning that 100% of asians become lactose-intolerant, my wish for next year is that it will not be the year i join the majority of the asian population. i'm too young for such misfortune.) i'm in the middle of reading the autobiography of katharine graham, the late publisher of the washington post, and i find it more engrossing than the other book i borrowed from the library here, the essentials of c.s. lewis, comprised of his fictions, nonfictions and a few letters and excerpts of his writing on philosophy and literature among others. no doubt he's a great writer and have much for me to learn. but his writing was too heavy for me to read more than three pages at a time, and mysteriously that heaviness tranfers to my eyelids sooner than i want. i know, i'm appalling some people by saying that i'm falling asleep on their hero. but... maybe i'll try The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe in his children's section. (any readers out there?)

so i shall start this day now.. must change out of this pj and the fleece robe that's been keeping me warm and lazy all morning. i plan on spending the last hours of this year by eating a hearty lunch soon, writing something reflective in my journal, (writing those holiday cards that await me with more patience than i ever had), and going out to dinner with close friends. i'll be back to join my family for the midnight service tonight. right now, i can't see another better way to greet the new year. especially when i'm not ready... i need that divine encouragement telling me 2004 will be alright however fearsome it looks. i'm sure there will be a time when i will or have to break this tradition of family and church service, but let me enjoy it in my own way until then. :D

happy new year everyone! ;)



greeting the new year in candle light

as usual, i bought my christmas cards weeks and months in advance. and as usual, they are still sitting next to my bed waiting to be used. ;) i'm planning on sending them out tomorrow. isn't not too late, right? at least this year, my dad didn't get his hands on them like last year and left me with no cards.

i haven't been writing because literally i'm been vegging out since i got home. sleep and incredible amount of food do wonders to your skin, if you want to know. i was suffering with dark circles under eyes, not to mention little wrinkles and dry patches from walking on campus in the cold, and a few zits here and there like i'm a teenage going through some boyfriend crisis. but a few days of 'home' is like going to an expensive spa for a weekend. my face is glowing. (it also means that i've added a few pounds, but hey, i'm not complaining. i've got my new year's plan written down.)

i've been meeting some friends, even ex-coworkers. sad thing about being in grad school is that... i have nothing fun to say to them other than human body parts! so i do most of the listening as others talk about the current affairs, old friends' new relationships, and their own lives that sound so much more diverse than my own. *sigh* not that i'm asking for drama, but perhaps....

oh, well, here's one to write about. i think i have a crush on someone. woohoo! crushes are fun, no? but this time, i won't let a soul know about it. yes, this includes you too.

our family has been entertaining for a couple of days now. today our house is swarming with little kids between ages 4 to 10, playing hide and go seek. there's a girl under this desk as i type. she's the same girl who just asked how old i was. "24" was my answer. her reply: "whoa. you have to get married!" my response to this: "well, get me a husband then!" i have no shame when talking to kids ;)

hope all of you are enjoying the last few days of 2003! stay warm and safe! *muah!*


that's me holding the camera and my sister framing me with love:)
we were very bored one evening.

my doc told me not to drink coffee or any caffeinated drink, but right now, i'm so wanting a hot cup of joe. both in terms of my need and desire. *sigh*

i mean, i'm a lot better than i was when i saw her ... which was yesterday.

thanks for the well-wishes guys. and i'm glad that my sickness served as an amusement for someone. *cough cough* (gee, what great friends i have online :T) :D i'm dying to see TROTK but i don't know if going out to a threatre full of people is a good thing. eh, why not?!

here's a pic from our christmas party. man, do i look healthy and happy in the picture... :)


12.12.03 : i had to cut a few guys out on the left to make it more 'fitting.'

the story of today.
i woke up feeling definitely worse than yesterday. the symptoms urged be to finally open the box of cold medicine i bought yesterday. i couldn't avoid it anymore. i went into lab and looked at a few more cadavars before it closed to prepare for tomorrow's exam.

and then i had a bowl of chicken pho with friends feeling that the clear hot soup will cure everything. but it didn't. i came home, trying to study with computer questions and it was just misery in itself. (i actually started picturing kathy bates in the movie, Misery). with nose continuously running, words on the computer screen looking like random letters strewn together, i was cold feeling helpless! my apt was 74 degrees and i had a blanket over my sweatshirt that was over my long tee shirt. but most of all, i was aching and sensitive all over that i didn't have enough strenth to click on the mousepad. how sad is this?!

so i succumbed to my weakness and finally called home. yup. i needed the love. and the story gets worse. as i heard Mom's voice, i started to cry! tears start to flow and with nose-blowing here and there, i slowly tell her.." mom, i'm ..sick.. and i can't talk .. and i have no minutes... and i'm sick..." yup, i couldn't be the responsible first born who hides her sickness to spare her parent's concern and care. (i bet my sister in MA is laughing pretty hard by now.) of course Mom's rarely heard me cry over pain like this since i rarey catch a cold (or a flu) as severe as this and she got very worried. i listened like a 5 year old and finally got up to visit CVS again to get another medicine.

now i'm heavily drugged yet feeling so much better.
theraflu is the bomb. alka seltzer cold just tastes gross. and now that my rommate's home, i can whine to her.

moral of the story : i'm weak.

prayer request : that i last until wednesday evening.

through out the day i fed myself chicken soup and cough drops. (and some chocolate.)

=(

good night.

wow. just heard about Saddam's capture. my cupcake stories are nothing compare to this news..

just baked some strawberry cupcakes. anyone?
i've come a long way from burning break-n-bake cookies to baking cupcakes with vanilla frosting. goodness..

things that i find to do to avoid studying...

no, you're wrong. i don't deserve the extraordinary. but i think i expect one deep inside.

hello.
i forgot to write this morning. it's because i slept in:P
yes, the plan to go to lab before class never equated to practice. i even missed lecture. i did accomplish my goal to finish all the work set out to do last night, but it was an early morning by the time i was done. i woke up for school this morning, thanks to a lovely roommate who often knocks on my door to find me sleeping with an alarm in her hand (after i snooze and sleep so close to it), but as i was getting ready with a toothbrush in hand, my brain started to work. 'i'm going to end up sleeping in lecture anyway. my bed is so much bigger than the chair in the lecture hall. and it's warmer. and i will have a pillow to sleep on whereas in class, it would be the hard backing of a chair which would be horrible for my neck...' the list of reasons why i should just go back in bed was endless. so i did just that. =)

we had a christmas party at a friend's house tonight. people that i've been seeing almost everyday since september came to celebrate the last week of classes, exchange gifts and ... enjoy one another's company outside campus. i think the guys like to see girls outside academic settings more often, especially during anatomy weeks. as one friend exclaimed, 'girls actually look like girls without scrubs on!' ??? i actually arrived early to help my friend prep and host the party and as a consequence, i literally ate dozens of cookies and wontons while waiting for people to show up. i'm safe to boycott food for awhile, if nature permits...

OH, almost forgot! so guess what welcomed me at my own apartment! my roommate decorated our living room with christmas lights and waited for me with multiple candles lit =) so cute! as she mentioned, it was like a mini 'while you were out' moment :P and i joined her in the project of cutting out snowflakes for our brick wall.... which, um, i had a hard time getting used to as it's been quite some time since i last did such crafty work. my first snowflake very much resembled an Aztec design that an achaeologists would dig up. either that or a virus with receptors sticking out. my second one looked more like a roman armor that you would see in ... Gladiator. my third one finally looked like it could pass for snow.

wish i had my camera to show you.

okay, time to hit the bed. good night!

so...

CHANGE OF PLAN:
do 80 multiple questions i need to do by 10:25pm.
watch ER with roommie.
do 20 more during commercial break.
Lab work - postponed until tomorrow morning before class. *ahem* yeah, i know i have class at 8am, but.. i really don't mind sacrificing some sleep time *sigh* for dr.carter. i mean... he just came back from Africa! mission workers need warm welcoming in their homeland, i figure.

alright. timer is now on.

(i'll let you know how successful this turns out to be tomorrow morning.)

aarrhhhggg!
my heart is crying right now.
all day i said to myself, no tv. dinner break 20 min., no tv, no ER!
during the few minutes i took to peel an orange (with the TV on), i saw the preview to tonight's ER. ... and Carter is back!!! what do i do?!?!?! i mean, my Carter is back on the show tonight!

only if i had not watched that preview. only if i had not turned on the TV for commercials. only if i had not decided to take an extra break to eat an orange for vitamin C boost.

only if i had no exams next week...
*sigh*

i miss my guitar....
it's standing so handsomely just across the room, yet it seems so far away. :T

since last monday, i feel about ten pounds heavier. people from home (as in "home-home") told me i looked malnourished... exhausted, so i kept on eating ever since i came back. maybe that wasn't the best move. my roommate and i made lasagna for dinner tonight. so proud of our accomplishments, we invited a friend to enjoy as well. *grin* who would have ever thought that i can make lasagna. all those endless hours of watching FoodTV (minus emeril) is paying off!

:)

my phone is not picking up any reception right now. called the service provider. got an unsatisfactory answer: wait until we fix it. *sigh*

i feel as though my life is missing out big time on some very important call. like maybe some of my long-lost childhood friends might call me. even better, my future boyfriend will call me. because we all know that 1:30am is the time to call those you miss, right? ;)

i'm very tired. but i forgot to do some work due tomorrow at noon. my half-closed eyes say to sleep and go into class tomorrow with fingers crossed. (from this point on, i'll type with my tired eyes closed.) only 9 days until break! yippy=) which reminds me, i should start writing christmas cards, huh? could this year be the year that i send out cards on time?!? i'll let you know.

alrighty, thanks for listening to my post-midnight ramblins. *eyes opening* hey, not bad for typing with eyes closed. only one typo. that's better than my usual! :T this reminds me of 6th grade computer class. i tried so hard to type faster than this other asian girl in class who was a piano virtuoso. she woud always beat me by three seconds... bitter memories :P

good night.

(no friday-five answers were due to no friday-five questions :P)

another week has begun. *sigh* i forgot to mention that last friday, i retreated from school, boys, "head-pies," and a formal to a nice tranquil retreat center to join eight other people. yes, i drove through the snow, the friday rush hour traffic, and post-exam sleepiness.

i learned mucho over this past weekend.

i learned that i need to get my act together to find my "niche" here a.s.a.p.... apart from school friends, lab partners, and people i just run into on a daily basis.

i also had a chance to meet a friend whose father recently passed away after fighting with cancer. she's five years younger than i am and yet much stronger.

hm.. i don't know where i'm going with this post. i should hit the bed now. oh, question for y'all. if you were to pick either 'admiration' or 'attraction' in your future significant other, which would you prefer? it's hard, huh? :P

my eyes are so dry.

sharp cheddar and red grapes make this evening more bearable... ;)

maybe i'll do a friday-five later for ol' time's sake. maybe... if i finish my work before sleep takes control of me.

i don't consider myself as an abusive person. actually, i would say that i'm decently polite and marginally considerate of others, often mindful of their well-being (as well as mine).

seems like all my pens, especially those that were acquired at higher cost, disagree. because they've all fled off to somewhere i can't put my fingers on with no trace of returning. *sigh*

i'm pen-less. highlighter-less... and thus, powerless as i was ready to conquer my books.
ah, maybe it's a sign to forget studying tonight? (i must be under a post-holiday pre-holiday spell. haven't done anything school related since last wednesday. and that is baaad....

this morning, i was curled up in bed with a stomache ache until class was over. fifteen years ago, this would have been an unacceptable excuse to skip class.

oh, before i forget -
i made kimchi jigae for dinner! it was a work of art ;) i tell you, i used to think that i'll be a horrible homemaker but nowadays, i have more faith in myself. i mean, i keep my place clean, i do laundry on time, i do the dishes without much grumbling... and i can cook (to a degree)! ... although that's really not all a homemaker does. i can't imagine doing this for others though.

i still have some left-overs of my incredilicious jigae if you want some :P

__________________
count down : 14 days

happy december!
man, holiday madness is near. i'm so not prepared.

haven't studied since last wednesday. perhaps the holiday madness has already caught up with me after all... against my will.